All posts by walkerjennifer22

eye opening

The last couple of months have been eye opening on so many levels. I feel like I’ve learned a lot, and maybe more importantly I’ve learned how to use what I’ve learned.

I’ve learned that there are some things that just don’t work for me, and that some of my coping mechanisms? Actually aren’t. They’re just avoidance, and they can do as much harm as good. Sometimes they can do a lot of harm, in fact, and I’m finally seeing how I can stop them in their tracks. I can feel them coming; I can see how they approach. It’s a little scary actually; but there’s no way I’m going to make progress as a person in this world if I can’t do exactly that: stop doing what doesn’t work, because I’ve seen it before and I can see it now, and I’m not going to fall for it.

It makes me sad that it has taken a long time for some of these things to work themselves around in my brain, it really does. I should have been able to figure this shit out at least 10 years ago. Still, I have to let that go and say, Now is now, and go ahead and move forward.


post fringe

Another Fringe comes to a close. One thing that I found is that I am getting a lot better at embracing the duality of my weird personality type … I seem to be half introvert and half extrovert, per every meme about how people get and use their personal energy.

I used to think I was pure extrovert … all social butterfly all the time. Over time, though, I’ve gotten much more solitary, and I go back and forth over whether that’s a good thing or not. In some ways I don’t think it is, but I’ve also started noticing that when I’m done interacting I’m just fucking done, so maybe it’s an honest facet of my personality. I can see an upside to recognizing that and stepping away before I get snarly.

A week of fringing nearly every day was a huge eye opener though. After only a few days in a row of being out every day/night, I wondered, how, how in the WORLD, have I been spending such an extensive amount of time at home? Alone? It was strange and fascinating, and made me think more about how introverted I am and whether that’s genuine or some kind of depression construct I have created.

learning as I go

My first wordpress post. If Kate can do it, I can do it!

I want to learn more about everything web. Years ago I took classes (that I still have not paid off) and they were great, but one of the things I started to figure out was that there are a zillion free or cheap resources out there for people who want to learn from a book or a website rather than a four month long class. Maybe it was the school, but it seemed to me like a lot of what we were doing is just being spoonfed a chapter a week out of a Peach Pit┬áPress “classroom in a book”, which I felt I could have done myself without paying the teacher.┬áPlus, those classes were a long time ago … I’m sure little if any of it is strictly relevant anymore.

My pal C works for wordpress and we had a great dinner the other day. She suggested that maybe this could be something I’m good at, too! I didn’t know that nearly 25% of all sites are powered by WP!

So hell, I might as well start. I’m beginning with the free version so we’ll see how much I can change and mess with and learn about before I need to upgrade. I’m guessing it won’t be long before I need more access so I can mess around with layouts and such as much as I want to.

Kate also suggested a subscription as a birthday gift! Brilliant. It’s incredibly cheap to be honest; something like $375 for a year and you can do as much as you want. That’s significantly less than 1 class at MCTC.

So, nothing special or fancy in this post … just a placeholder I guess as I try something new. Finally.